LOO LOO SKIP TO MY LOO

or…..

FLUSHED WITH SUCCESS

or…..

WORLD IN CRISIS: PRESIDENT LEAVES TOILET SEAT UP!

Has there ever been a more symbolic example of the differences in male and female mindsets than that of the humble toilet seat? The shrine has inadvertently become a shrine – a shrine to the silent battle of the chromosomes.

I confess, I am a reformed toilet seat leaver upper. Years of training and reprogramming have finally made it habit and got me to the point of subconciously registering the sex of a toilet's previous user upon entering the smallest room in the house.

I don't have an issue with it. I do it out of courtesy not guilt.
After years of not thinking about it at all the penny finally dropped some time back that women really do like it that way.
My main beef is finding unflushed beef, skid marks or yellow peril. A different subject all together which has less to do with men and women and clearly more to do with barbaric primates.

So why do women have an issue with it?
That is the question.
Lid up or lid down a clean toilet is a clean toilet isn't it?

I was at a party the other night and stumbled into a conversation where three women were actually bemoaning their partners' inability to 'close the deal'. What I initially thought was an opening turned out to be all about closing.
It seemed no amount of nagging by the ladies could get the message through.

I offered them the lame excuse that it could be instinct. If a man, caught short, takes a leak in the woods he doesn't then cover his 'patch' with leaves he just leaves.
They countered with it was just laziness.
I ran to the net and volleyed that it can't be just laziness otherwise we would never close the front door on cold nights or turn the light off to go to sleep.
Then they lobbed one over my head to take the point with "if it's not laziness then it's just carelessness or thoughtlessness".

I had to agree.
But pressed on. If the contents had been disposed of properly does it really matter? Hoping that the subject of poor marksmanship would not, if I may be so bold, raise it's ugly head.
Thankfully it didn't, although much later in the party, I'm sure it would've.

Instead the over-riding theme was that "it just looked cleaner."
There was no scientific evidence, no clear hygenic proof – it just looked cleaner.
JUST LOOKED CLEANER?!?!?!?!
And I thought looks weren't as important to women!
Just how shallow are they!?

But then again…..
I am just a man.

Advertisements

5 Responses to “LOO LOO SKIP TO MY LOO”

  1. Stephanie Says:

    i have to say i think that it is a matter of convenience rather than looks, i mean think about it the majority of the use of the loo the seat will be down, men only hav the seat up to pee. to take a crap they hav it down so its just a matter of catering to the mojority of use. and i dont uderstand how guys dont see the problem that women get pissed off that we have to put it down i mean they as guys take the time to put it up so why not take two more seconds to put it back down and then everyone is happy, no nagging girlfriends, or wifes, or kids in my case. Guys, just stick with putting it back down.

  2. Rebecca Says:

    Leaving the toilet seat down is a matter of respect between genders. Males of all ages, fathers, husbands, brothers and sons should respect the females of their household and recognise that this simple act will avert much unecessary trauma and possible hissifits. To agree with Stephanie, the majority of toilet usage is with the seat down so this is therefore the most efficient way to deal with all involved. To suggest otherwise is ludicrous, illogical and downright ridiculous.

  3. Chris Says:

    Here’s a question for the ladies. Is there something so unholy about the toilet seat being up that us simple men are not aware of? Are there monsters that can only be vanquished by putting the seat down? Is it a mortal sin to leave it up? I’m sure that the vast majority of men in the world will not be sent to Hell because “Thou has left the Holy Toilet Seat in the hethen Upright Position.” Please. Maybe the problem lies with you ladies. This will probably have me stoned to death by the fairer sex for this but for God’s sake, grow up, put up with it and put it down yourself. There are much more important things for you to worry about like what your husband would like to eat when he comes home from a hard day at work.

  4. spanky Says:

    Leaving the toilet seat up is punishment for them taking us shopping.
    It only takes then a couple of seconds to close the lid though.
    You compare that to my wife in a shoe shop!

    “Spanky what do you think?, what do you think?, blue or black?, is this heel to big?”

    I actually sneak into the toilet & put the seat up even when I don’t need to go just to even up!!! 🙂

  5. chair heel high shoes Says:

    chair heel high shoes…

    I never thought about this ….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: