I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUDDHA

Okay.
What is the deal with seemingly intelligent women and the stooooooopid stoopid names they give their kids?

Yes, I am talking about the Womb Raider.
And yes, I am absolving the Pittster of all guilt.
He wooda just done what most blokes do in this situation – made a few suggestions, nodded a few times, feined interest, helped with a short list containing one of his suggestions and four hundred and ninety nine of hers and then just closed his eyes, thought why the heck are we having the birth in Namibia when all our family are in the U.S. and just accepted his fate.

So don't even suggest that Brad had anything to do with Shiloh Nouvel.
Just as no fella had a hand in Ginger Spice's Bluebell Madonna, Gwyneth's Apple or anything serial child naming abuser Madonna could churn out.

Nope. When it comes to stoooooopid names the ladies are only rivalled by Michael Jackson – and he's not really a man!

What I want to know though is what exactly is the motivation so many women have that sees them commit these crimes against children's names so willingly?

Literally translated from Hebrew and French Brangelina's poor urchin and Namibia's most famous export means New Messiah.

NEW MESSIAH!!!!!!!!!????????

That's not only a stooooooopid name but one hell of a massive burden for any child.
I actually read in one of the glossy mags (yes, I do research!) that this was the most anticipated birth since Jesus! Now correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure Joseph was more shocked than anticipating his sudden change of luck. Well, if you believe Mary's version of the events anyway.
What in, dare I say it, God's name is wrong with something pretty and Biblical like Sarah, Rachel or even Mary?
And don't get me started on all those suburban mums who name their kids after American states and cities – Dakota, Indiana, Phoenix, Alabama. Thankfully some poor child has been spared Pittsburgh. But it's only a matter of time I guess.

WOTW (Women Of The World – remember this, it could get a good run over the next year or so) wake up!!!
Your child is not special.
Your child is just another beautiful new born being.
Giving it a stooooooopid name does NOT make it more special.
So stop it and stop it now!

The more I try to learn about women the less I understand about them.

But of course, I am just a man.

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4 Responses to “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUDDHA”

  1. Karen Says:

    And how many 25-30 year olds are out there named after the casts of Dynasty and Dallas? And they’ve never watched the show!
    Gee, I’m glad I chose a nice straightforward, easy to spell, non-confusing name for my daughter, Seona.

  2. Jen Says:

    We women reserve the right to name our children silly names just as men are born to create ridiculous names for cars.

  3. trish Says:

    lol! 🙂

  4. Seona Says:

    I’ve often thought that a lot of women approach naming their child not with the thought that it’s a beautiful new human being (who will, incidentally, have to one day go to school with a lot of other little human beings who’ve just gotten to the name-calling stage) but that it’s some sort of exotic pet.

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