MELBOURNE – AUSTRALIA’S HOME OF GREAT COFFEE, FINE FOOD & CRAZY WOMEN

He of the white pants and maracas, Peter Allen, said it best:

“I’ve been to cities that never close down,
From New York to Rio and old London town,
But no matter how far or how wide I roam,
The crazy women all call Melbourne home!”

There are many truisms in this world…..

– There is no such thing as a pretty Goth chick.
– Volvo is a Swedish word meaning ’10 kilometres slower than the rest of traffic’.
– Never buy take away food on a Monday morning.

….. just to name a few.

Well you can add single women in their mid 30’s are all crazy to the list!

Infact they are not just crazy.
THEY ARE SCARY!!!!!
It all starts out sorta ‘nice and normal’. Quiet chats lead to further extended chats, maybe a meal and if you’re really lucky some action. But within the space of a week they have unloaded three decades of hang ups, hiccups and histrionics on the poor unsuspecting male in some bizarre preying-mantis mental ritual.

At which point the punch drunk male starts doing his income sex return – she’s clearly mad and obviously not good for my own mental stability but I think I can hold out for another month. Which then sees the same process repeated again and again in single’s bars all over town. If they enforced a ‘Crazy Women Not Allowed’ door policy these joints would be empty!

Yet married women in their mid 30’s seem incredibly well adjusted, sane and balanced.
Which begs the question, is the trick to get them while they’re young or to keep them sedated when they’re old?

I am happily, just a man!

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