Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?

June 13, 2006

 Seven words to put the fear of God into any man.

politically incorrect I know

The question however never seems to be asked first thing on a Sunday morning. Nor does it raise it's ugly head on a workday when it seems any old outfit will do.

Noooooooooo. That would be far too easy.

This little baby gets dragged out only when a couple is getting dressed for an 'evening out'. You know the scene fellas – you've already decided what you are wearing and taken all of five minutes to slap it on while she pulls garment after garment out of draws, closets and who knows where to put on an impromptu fashion show. (which is entertaining in itself because what male ever tires of watching a female disrobe over and over again?)

So the black skirt goes on.
She swivels left in front of the mirror.
She swivels right in front of the mirror.
And then asks the question.

It's at this point the male must make a decision:

1. Do I want this quasi strip show to continue but at the same time risk annoying her and blowing all chance of a good night by saying "YES! You do have a fat arse".

or

2. Lie. Not only do I want to get some action tonight but I also want to leave within the next ten minutes.

Once again the politics of the male and female body corporate clash.
She wants an honest answer. (but really doesn't care about honesty and will settle for reassurance)
And he just wants to get going. (but thinks maybe if she eased off on the biscuits this wouldn't be an issue)

I, for one, have always lied.
Firstly, it's easier.
Secondly, I don't mind a bit of excess luggage in the caboose.

But is this the right thing to do?
Afterall, females bombard us with wanting honesty in a relationship.

Am I doing the wrong thing by hedging my bets?

I am when all is said and done…..

Just a man!